By now, you likely know about the countless physical and psychological health benefits of sleep, from boosting brainpower and improving immunity to easing stress. And you’re not alone in prioritizing rest: According to the American Sleep Apnea Association, 55 percent of adults say a good night’s sleep is a “major priority,” ranking it above lifestyle factors like spending time with family and eating healthfully. But despite its importance, many of us still struggle with shut-eye. In fact, one major reason why you can’t sleep at night may be that you’re putting too much pressure on getting the “perfect” amount or type of sleep.
There are plenty of factors behind poor sleep, but a growing reason more people are having trouble sleeping is the anxiety around sleep itself. A recent American Academy of Sleep Medicine survey found that 81 percent of Americans say worrying about sleep keeps them tossing and turning—a phenomenon sleep researchers have named orthosomnia, or the obsessive pursuit of ideal sleep. Here’s what to know and how to overcome it.
Why you can’t sleep at night
One driver of orthosomnia is the increased reliance on sleep tracking devices, such as smartwatches, rings, headbands, sleep masks and mattress sensors. “I’ve seen an increase in anxiety with patients coming to see me with their sleep issues and telling me what their technology is telling them about their sleep,” says Mandana Mahmoudi, MD, MPH, PhD, an assistant professor of medicine and the clinical director of sleep medicine in the division of pulmonary, critical care and sleep medicine at New York University’s Grossman School of Medicine. “But this technology isn’t scientifically proven, and you can’t rely on it for the most accurate sleep information,” she says. For example, a tracker can’t differentiate between stages of sleep.
Trying to follow strict rules for a good sleep, such as making sure you get seven to eight hours every night, may also increase sleep anxiety. However, it’s important to remember that when it comes to sleep, it’s not one-size-fits-all. “While most people need this amount of sleep, there are some individuals who may only need six hours a night and will wake up feeling well-rested,” Dr. Mahmoudi says.
Letting go of your excessive worry about sleep is key to stopping the vicious cycle of sleep anxiety in the long term. “The harder you try to control your sleep, the more difficulty you may have in getting to sleep,” says sleep psychologist James K. Wyatt, PhD, a professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Rush University and the director of behavioral sleep medicine at the Sleep Disorders Center at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. “It’s like anything else. You don’t want to be overly stressed about the activity that you can’t do the activity itself.”
Easy ways to drift off if you can’t sleep at night
Read on for these simple and effective strategies to help ease anxiety so you can fall asleep and stay asleep.
Make two to-do lists
Before bed, grab a pen and paper and write down all the things you’re worried about, then toss it in the trash, says Dr. Mahmoudi. Listing your worries can help clear your head, cutting down on thoughts that may be keeping you awake. And “Physically throwing it away can help to diminish those thoughts that circulate in your brain,” she explains.
Next, jot down a simple to-do list for the next day, so you can let go of worrying about them, too. Proof it works: A study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General found that those people who took five minutes to compose a to-do list fell asleep faster compared to a group that wrote down their completed tasks for the day.
Cue up the perfect bedtime music
Listening to calming music can help you fall asleep, says Dr. Mahmoudi. “If you’re in bed and start worrying, listening to something relaxing can distract you and help you refocus on yourself,” says Dr. Mahmoudi. The secret to music that will help you drift off? Opt for a song with a tempo of 60 beats per minute, like “Weightless” by Marconi Union.
In a study from Mindlab International, this song was deemed the most relaxing of all the tunes tested. Turns out this tempo is the average person’s approximate heart rate before falling asleep, and when you listen, your heart rate slows to match it. Find more soothing songs in that range at GetSongBPM.com.
Take time to unwind
One to two hours before bed, allow yourself some time to wind down so your brain can decompress from the day’s activities, says Wyatt. “We need certain times to switch off from anything stressful, whether it’s related to work, school, family issues, the state of the economy or politics,” Wyatt says. “This is the time to compartmentalize and focus on something else, otherwise, you’re going to take these topics to bed with you.”
Dr. Mahmoudi agrees. “You need time in the evening to relax and give your mind and body some space before bed,” she says. “This can be a good time to take a walk, watch a movie, read a book, or take a hot bath or shower.”
Pro tip: An easy relaxation technique? Make that shower or bath extra hot to drift off faster. In a study in Sleep Medicine Reviews, people who took a 100 to 104-degree bath or shower an hour or two before bed fell asleep 10 minutes faster.
